Wave Your White Flag!

Last year I decided I wanted to redecorate my room. So, while we were moving around furniture and preparing to paint it, my dad and I discovered a patch of mould that had been growing on the ceiling. Now, me being me and my dad being my dad, we couldn't be bothered to put bleach on the ceiling to kill the mould, so we carried on and painted over it.
My nice white painted ceiling was looking good & there was no trace of the mould that lay underneath until I was lying in bed a couple of weeks ago. Oh dear. I noticed a grey area appearing in the spot where the mould used to be. It was growing back!

This is a really strange analogy, but I think this can be the same for our sin. We block what we've done out of our minds in the hope that no one will ever find out, but really it's still there, waiting to grow back again. I can certainly say this is true for me. I had the fear of what God would think if I talked to Him about it, but really, he already knew. For ages, I buried the guilt inside me and hoped it would go away. It didn't.

It wasn't until recently when God gave me the opportunity to talk about what happened with people who care about me that I realised the great need we have for surrender. I always knew that's what I should do as a Christian, but I had no idea of how much it would hurt. Surrendering everything I have, no matter what the cost, is something that can only be done with His help. Sharing something so personal was not easy, but by doing so God really encouraged me on my journey with Him & brought me closer to surrendering all I am and all I was. 

This blog was not at all easy to write, but I really hope it will encourage you to surrender. Surrender the thoughts you have, the actions you make, the time you spend & God will turn that around into blessings :D

"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." - James 4:7

Solitude

At the weekend, as part of the course I'm doing, I went on a retreat for 2 days. Over this short amount of time I learned so much about myself, my attitudes & my God.

One huge thing I was reminded of and would really stress is the importance of solitude.
You don't have to be a Christian to have a huge need for solitude- we can all get burnt out by our busy lives, however, I use my times alone to talk to God and reflect.

We had a prayer session at retreat from an amazing woman of God named Robin, who told us we need to find a 'prayer closet'. This doesn't have to be an actual cupboard you have to squeeze yourself into, but a place where you can truley feel alone with God. For a friend of mine, this was on a crowded train with his scarf wrapped around his face. For me it's on a hill overlooking a lake near my house.

This place is just so special and important- it's a place for you and God & nothing else. No distractions. Just you and Him.

I discovered my place when my brother and I went sledging there a few weeks ago. It's a place where not many others go, so I'm able to gaze across at the beautiful views & sing as loud as I want ;)

Today when I visited my prayer closet I just sat down & talked with God. He doesn't want you to go through all the usual prayers you say, just talk to Him like you would your best friend. This is something I've struggled with in the past, but it's stupid 'cause He knows what you're thinking anyway- He just wants you to tell Him about your thoughts, fears, regrets etc.

So, I really challenge anyone who reads this to take some time out this week & find your prayer closet- you won't regret it :) 

Randomness & Ramblings

Okay, so I've gone and got a blog. I vowed to myself that I'd never get one because they're just another way to get attention from random people you don't know on the Internet; but maybe that's not such a bad thing. I'm currently studying youth work so I really hope this blog will be a good way for me to share my thoughts, my journey & the amazing grace of God that's saved me over and over. 


Yesterday I discovered how good it feels to be honest- truely and brutally honest- so even if nobody reads this blog, I know that I'll feel better with myself because my thoughts and ramblings are not crowding my brain any more.


So, I'll undoubtedly be back soon!


J