Obsessing over my appearance has always been a huge part of my life. I remember at the age of around 7 comparing myself to my skinny friend when we had our swimming lessons and being worried that I was taller than all of my friends (yes, I was tall once!). Years went by and every day before the school day began, I would stand in front of the mirror for at least half an hour trying to get my hair to look 'perfect' or attempting to look 'good'. I had a tough time in years 7 & 8 as people often made snide comments about what I looked like, so being me, I would try to hide my face with my hair and avoid looking people in the eye. I remember at one point I was actually scared to walk past a reflective window incase I caught a glimpse of my reflection. I was in a terrible way because I was scared of what others would think or say about me.
The same happened when people found out about me being a 'Christian'. I'd keep my head down so people wouldn't give me the same old 'Bible Basher' comments. When people did, I didn't stand up for what I believe and found myself conforming to and fulfilling what they were saying about my faith.
The whole of my secondary school life was consumed with the worry of what others will think of me so I lived in a little bubble of who I thought others wanted me to be and what they wanted me to look like. There's a picture I found of when I went to my first under 18's club dressed very chavvily looking completely unlike me and uncomfortable because I was trying to be like everyone else; when really I wouldn't have set foot inside that place if I hadn't cared so much about what others would say if I didn't.
Over the past year I've been on a huge, and at times, difficult journey. I'm discovering who I was created to be and being transformed! In Romans 12 it says "Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."
Are you living your life for this world? Is your life like mine was and being controlled by the opinion of others? God has called us to be different and to walk in what He wants for our lives- not what we want! So this week I challenge you to BE YOU. If you don't feel like going out and getting drunk with your mates then don't. If you want to wear un-trendy clothes then go for it! I've learned there's so much more to life that pleasing other people- pleasing God should be the only aim.
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